Say What?


Let's just jump right into it. Now, I’m sure it has come to Chris Brown's attention by now that he is the '09 Bobby Brown. The new n*gga ya love to hate. This illustrious title comes with the daunting task of having your every move criticized by Joe public. So, it would behoove Chris to be on his Ps and Qs at all times. Yet, somehow he has managed to completely ignore his current social standing and release what has to be the most pitiful album cover since...well, since some intern at No Limit Records got a hold of Adobe Photoshop.

I do not have the bandwidth to go over every detail of what is wrong this cover. But, I would like to highlight a few items. Chris' cover includes a guitar, Ponte’ pants, Dr. Martens, and a posse of cartoon goblins. Chris you don't play the guitar, so why do you have one in your photo?  You are not in a 90s Seattle garage band, so why the Docs? You are not a girl last I checked, so why the tights?  And guess what, you can hang that kid shyt up, so lose the cartoon characters.  And what does all of this mess mean anyway? None of it even matches Chris.  You got ham no burger here.  Continuity for the L. Oh, let's not forget the freaky robotic arm thingamajigy. What is it?  Why? *blank stare* I guess he was going for a whole edgy, futuristic theme with the planets, guitar, and the lil steel arm. *shrugs* Verdict is still out on the intended message. Until Chris further explains himself, we can only assume that he has lost his ever-loving mind. Chris...what happened?
I'd like to think one of two things took place before this thing went live. Chris, either this was your idea and no one around you cared enough about you to tell you it was stupid...or someone sold you on this nonsensical foolishness. I actually hope it was your brainchild. I'd hate to think that someone pitched this idea to you...and actually convinced you to do it. Now, your girl Rihanna has clearly got issues of her own with her new cover...but damn Chris. You left yourself wide open for this impending sh*tstorm of criticism. I almost feel like you did this on purpose. The old any publicity is good publicity routine. But, what are you going to tell your kids in 20 years when they look back at this monstrosity? Boy sit down. You acted simple on Larry King and now you release this idiocy? Are you trying to make a respectable comeback or not Chris? I guess the only thing that can save you now is the actual music itself.  Maybe a couple dance moves won't hurt.  We want to give you a chance to do right. But you’re making it so damn hard. I think your camp should rethink a few things here. Rework this and get back to us. We’ll be waiting….


LaconicIcon said...

Breezy is dunzo. He had a half of a chance to redeem himself on Larry King. He chose to play stupid and dance and dodge. I give him 4 months tops before he's doing a chitlin' circuit play. I heard "Lawd Mama Done Burned Up the Chicken" needs a lightskinned hero.

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