Allow me to reintroduce myself...

Hey young world. I've been toying with the notion of giving this blogging business a go. So, here I am. Of course I have NaN followers to date, but I will corner all my friends until they give. Unsure of where to begin, I asked Regis if I could phone a friend. Friend said "an intro would be nice". So, an intro it is. I am a VERY random thinker...so hold on tight...this may be a bumpy, nonsensical ride!

Oh...before this thing pops off...I am a pecker...no, not a d*ck....I peck...as in my typing skills are quite unorthodox. Now, my pecking game is quite beastly...but since Mavis Beacon told me to kick rocks back in '82, I tend to have a surplus of typos. Get used to it. I like to blame it on the iPhone (and/or the alcohol) whenever possible...but I can't at this juncture. So let the record state I iz not dumb...just too arrogantly oblivious to review and revise. My Journalism professors would be so proud. Now that that's out of the way, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

I am a single black female, addicted to retail (and complex carbohydrates). Hailing from the great state of Texas, USA (in case thing thing goes worldwide). I love what I like and I loathe what I don't. There isn't much middle ground with me. I tend to be overly passionate and have an opinion about almost everything. I am almost always 100% honest (60% of the time, it works every time) which is a gift and a curse. I speak without thinking...and always out of turn. When people 1st meet me they think I am a BIA....if i had a nickel for every time someone said, "I didn't like you when I first met you...but you are a really nice girl"...I would have $626.82

I'd like to give you a flavor for what you are dealing with here...so let's go over a few things I like...and a few things I am hoping will vanish by the end of this entry.

Things I Like (aka things I am absolutely obsessed with):
-One Miss Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter (this is a hate Bey free blog. You will be banished if you say 1 ill word) + her hubby....
-Saying "what a douche"...and charting a man's level of douchery...on a scale of Von Dutch to Christian Audigier.
-Rachel Zoe...I die! And Brad...currently loving Brad. (Tay-Tay would fall in the list below).
-Sex and the City...Carrie Bradshaw...what more can I say? The show had more sex and puns than the law should allow...and I loved every minute of it! He broke up with me on a POST IT!
-Lounging (defined as watching DVR in my undies)
-Sorority Life...it's an obsession is what it is....
-Law & Order (SVU only)
-Quoting movies. Do I smell an upcoming blog of best movie lines ever? *sniff sniff* Perhaps....

Things I am not feeling (aka I cannot stand the following):
-This recession...I have committed to being a frugalista...but dammit it is cramping my style!
-Street teams (give it a rest with the fliers!)
-When people throw Glitter in Mariah's face. Let the girl die of shame on the inside in peace!
-"Brangelina" (I mean what exactly is it that they are doing?). Now, here is where it gets complicated...I like Angelina...I like Brad...but together...not so much.
-The Latin J.Lo...remember when she dated Puffy...and she was real black and street (you know STREET)....that's the J. Lo I like...big booty bandanna rockin Jenny from the Boogie down Bronx.
-When people say "I like to have fun"....MF who doesn't? Sit down!
-Octomom...makes me want to barf...and buy Trojans.
-Cheaters (no, not the show...that would fall under things I love for $200 Alex...I hate ppl who cheat - but not on tests...just on other people...ya dig?)
-People who treat animals better than people (this will be the topic of a blog...I fall victim to this too)
-"the stories" aka soap operas...who needs them?
-court TV *falls asleep*

On the Fence about:
-Any song the 1st time I hear it
-The quiet, maternal Nicole Richie
-Jessica Simpson post Nick Lachey
-What REALLY happened b/t Perez Hilton and ole dude from the Black Eyed Peas
-The Hills replacing Lauren with Kristin....only time will tell...oh, while we are on the subject...
-The City
-Cat people (LOL @ the fact that I used to have one)
-Rula's voice...do I hate it...or does it remind me of my own? Too soon to tell...

Since I am so big on words...you need to know that I love these words (in no particular order and for no particular reason):

1. lackadaisical
2. inconsequential
3. reciprocity
4. Catbert (yes the evil Director of HR)
5. dill weed (as in...you are a)
Honorable mention: Underoos

Not so big on these here words:
1. wheat germ
2. frothy
3. humble (when pronounced incorrectly as "umble")
4. vermin
5. nail bed

Well, I do realize most people stopped reading long ago. I have clearly made a mockery of the art of blogging with my shenanigans and mindless ramblings of nothingness. If you are still here, thanks for playing. You can fill out a survey to let me know if you enjoyed this. When you are finished, place the survey in the grey box under my desk marked trash. I'm outee Dee! See you around. Hope not sporadically!

This is a test...I repeat, this is a test. If this had been an actual emergency...well, we would all be in BIG trouble!


LaconicIcon said...

You are not a well woman. However, this is a great start to your new blog.

Mocitypretty said...

I am a very well woman. My gyno told me so...

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