New Year's Resolutions & Other Tall Tales

Although I fell asleep before the countdown & ball drop, waking up to the aftermath of New Year’s Eve was simply splendid. As I formally introduced myself to 2010, I caught up on the final hours of ‘09 via the drunken texts, tweets and status updates that chronicled overindulgence gone awry. Now that most folks have literally partied the year away, chances are the first few hours of 2010 were spent reflecting on their hangovers, highs, and lows of the last year. Which is often a segue to the birth of the New Year’s Resolution.

If you are anything like me, you make the same tired resolutions every year. Don’t get me wrong, our quality of life would be greatly enhanced if we could actually see our resolutions through. BUT if our resolutions were that easy to incorporate into our lifestyles, we would have already done so. The following resolutions are some of the most entertaining to watch people attempt: stop smoking, binge drinking & bopping, lose weight, leave that no good man alone, go to church every Sunday, clean up that potty mouth, cut down on frivolous spending, etc. During the month of January, we’ll get a few cheap thrills out of watching people pinch pennies, pack gyms, and use words like frick, shoot, and mother trucker. Rest assured, by the end of February most will be up to their old tricks again. And I’m rather looking forward to it.  It’s always fun to walk up on someone with a bottle Grey Goose in their hand and ask how that less drinking in 2010 pledge is going. And it will be sheer delight to catch someone sporting their “thin in ‘10” sweatshirt, hovering over a supersized value meal at Burger World. I’ve been known to throw cigarettes away to help those who have committed to no smoking in the new year. They’ve never appreciated my help and I‘ve never understood why. 


I read somewhere that instead of making a long list of resolutions, we should all resolve to better decision making in the new year. I think that’s a pretty good idea…and I will start doing so TODAY. Right after I polish off all the last of the holiday treats in my fridge.  Happy New Year!