You can see all sorts of photos of me and Bey on vacation, me rubbing her pregnant belly, us just talking…hanging out…ya know, just being sisters. Oh, my bad…that’s Solange, not me. Tomato, tomatoe.
In any event, I took the liberty of compiling a list of singers Bey’s Tumblr just sh*tted on...and outsold.
Those who Bey did it on: Ciara (sorry CiCi this is business, love you tho), Keri Hilson (f*ck Keri Hilson!), Christina Milian, Cassie (Puff asked me to add you), Monica (okay not you girl…I like you), Brandy, Keyshia Cole (although I must say I do not want it with you girl), Ashanti (who??), Fantasia (I don’t feel bad about adding you to the list because I know you can’t read this)…and all the rest of you runners-up…bow down…kiss the ring…curtsy…do whatever the f*ck you mere mortals do when in the presence of greatness…cause she’s back. Queen Bey gave you hoes 9 months to challenge her thrown. And you did absolutely nothing with it.
Bey tried to told you she was “strong enough to bare the children…then get back to business!” She was warning you tired floozies. But no…you didn’t listen. So, whatever happens from this day forth…remember, you brought this on yourselves. And I mean, she is not even technically back yet. How you let a chick assassinate your relevance whilst on maternity leave?! Ya’ll weak!
|Bey being Bey|