3.21.2010

A Thin Line Between Loathe & Haute


As you all know, I have been on a not so brief hiatus. But a very serious topic had forced me back into the world o’ blogging. What is this critical matter, you say? Ladies and gentleman I’ve been in turmoil. The greatest conflict is inner…man vs. self, if you will. I’ve been so discombobulated, so perplexed. I have gone over this 100 times in my head. And I am still left unsure of myself. Two words: Nicki Minaj. I mean we loathe her, right? But do we also secretly love her ? What are these mixed emotions I am feeling? On the surface I hate everything about her. You’re nothing like a Barbie, Ms. Minaj. It’s been a while since I actually owned one, but I do remember what she looks like. And I happen to know for a fact, Barbie would never do a crotch shot.  Mainly because she can't bend her legs, but that's not the point!  You are more reminiscent of a Bratz doll, don’t you think? And “Minaj”? *sigh* What are you 12? I am 21 *gulp* and even I was appalled by your stage name. Minaj…as in “a trois“? Girl stop. And where does one purchase pink weave? I wonder what the name of it is. Bubble gum yaky? Cotton Candy Hawaiian silky ? Barbiedoll Indian virgin 18 inch? I hate it. All of her clothes seem one size too small. She is always a fashion don’t. I mean, the girl is a mess. And have you noticed she tries to pull off an accent? I believe it's cockney. You can’t just make up an accent. Who do you think you are, Madonna? And Lil Kim called…she wants her swag, steez, clothes, pose, style of rap, and overall raunchiness back. Every time I see her I roll my eyes.  But *leans in to whisper* something about her intrigues me. I want to see more, know more. What is her real name (heaven forbid it is “Nicki Minaj“)? How old is she? Where does she hail from? She just seemed to drop out of thin air. I had questions.  I needed answers.  So, I did what any serious journalist would do. Consulted Wikipedia.

I found out she was born in ‘84.  Bummer. Kind of old for pink hair and a Barbie reference aren‘t we? Turns out Young Money isn’t as 'young' as I thought. She’s from New York, which would have been my second guess after ATL. She is allegedly mixed with a few things. Which is fine. Tragic Mullato?  Too soon to tell.  Oh and get this, when asked who her biggest influences were…she said Lauren Hill. Really? Lil Kim, Trina…perhaps Eve…maybe even that nasty Khia of my neck, my back fame. But not Lauren -best CD ever-Hill. I'm not buying it Nicki.  Where is her influence in anything you do?

But I digress.
*looks left, looks right* I mean maybe I like her lyrics sometimes…and she’s real animated and cartoonish in her movements which captures my attention here and there. I was impressed by the air of confidence she seemed to have about herself to be so young…but now that I know she's 26...not so much. I don’t know guys. Amidst all of my disgust, I'm watching this girl…and wanting to see more. Maybe. I don’t know yet.  And her real name is Onika Maraj by the way. Which is pretty close to her stage name. So maybe intead of annoying...it's....I don't know....creative. No?

Hey, I think one of her videos is on….*logs off*

1 comments:

LaconicIcon said...

If you're gonna jack Kimberly Jones, at least do it better than the originator. That Hardcore photo is legendary...I think other lezzies, straight men, and even some straight chicks will agree. I think I dislike Nicki's Legion of Losers more than Nicki herself. Bidge you 38 years old and a Barbie? Lil heffa, you're 12 years old....what you know about a menage? GTFOHWTB all of youse.

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